The Thank God I’m In The Arts Bathing Suit

Seriously, thank goodness I work in theater, where most likely these photos will never be held against me. If I was in finance or law or something serious and not based in make-believe, well, a lot of this blog would be suspect, probably, and I’d have to find a new name, do a face-graft Face/Off style, that’s a whole lotta work, don’t you think? Plus, it’s totally going to backfire, so, yeah, it’s better that I just stick to writing and studying pretend. And, apparently, posting photos of myself in a bathing suit on the internets. Which, I’m pretty terrified about it, but so many other amazing talented BRAVE bloggers are doing it, I just couldn’t justify not doing it myself. So even though I feel a little, well, nervous about putting photos of myself covered in a few ounces of spandex online, hey, man, I made a WHOLE SWIMSUIT, and sometimes pride needs to outweigh concern.

Funny thing, when I made this suit and then told people about it, which was almost a month ago, I was so thrilled and amazed that it worked, and yet everyone I told was like, yeah, so? I guess they just figured that a swimsuit was as hard as anything else, which, I mean, it’s actually not that difficult! I thought it would be tougher and sure, I wish I had a serger, but honestly this thing comes together super quickly, mostly because it’s so small! But the very concept of making a swimsuit just seemed so cool and radical to me, whereas the people I know who know I sew were super meh about it, I guess they just have a lot of confidence in me! Or have no idea how sewing works. But it’s definitely one of those two things…

So, the pattern is clearly and obviously from Closet Case, because come on, did anyone really want to make a swimsuit before Heather came out with this amazing vintagey goodness? I’m going to go with no. I ended up going with the halter, which, well, this was a bit of a questionable decision, as it turns out, because of my not-insubstantial frontal area.  But, you know what? I like this suit! Hell, I LOVE this suit. I mostly love that I MADE a swimsuit, right? Check it out:

It’s a bit revealing, don’t laugh, I know it’s a one-piece, but still, there is some bosom happening here that makes me a bit, eh. It’s not so bad lying down, really, which is why I took so many photos in this position (THANK YOU LISA I LOVE YOU!)

Here we go with gravity doing what it does. Yep. a whole bunch of curves there. Oh my. Please be kind, future google searchers!

So, I would not go with the halter again, honestly, though I am glad I made it! I have a lot of the maillot style, so I thought I would try something different, and then I remembered WHY I have a lot of that style, because A. I love it and B. it’s really flattering. Not that I don’t think this is flattering, because I mostly do, but, real talk, support is not what halters do best. As modern swimsuits go, this is great, but next time I’m going to add a more solid bust band and make the other style. I will still totally wear this suit, I love it, I do, and the material is great, I bought it with my friend Allie (hi, Allie!), who picked it out at Spandex House in the garment district here in New York because she has excellent taste (I was going to go waaaay trashier, turns out that’s where my tastes in spandex lie, who knew?), but the next one, which I’m excited to make, this was fun, is going to get some modifications.

This is my very best “super model” pose. Lisa directed me in most of my poses, so if I look sad and apathetic and underfed (ha, kidding, I will never look underfed) , blame her. And Anna Wintour. AND SOCIETY. Lisa lives in a complex with a pool in Austin, and this was the first time she had ever used it! It’s a salt pool, which apparently is kinder to people than chlorine, and it was so wonderful after our morning run, she vowed to make better use of the pool from now on. I can’t even believe she doesn’t spend every moment in it as it is, if I lived near a pool you would have to pry my water-wrinkled self out of it daily.

Okay, moment of truth here:

The back view. Sigh. Internet creepers and jerks, do what you need to do. I think this is pretty damn awesome, everyone who has made this suit has raved about the gathers in the back and everyone is not wrong. I like/can live with this photo, but I will say, it’s much better in real life, this is just an insanely flattering style. As Lisa said, I may like the back even more than the front! Aw, thanks, Lisa…

All in all, I am so glad I made this, even if everyone I know is like, so? Because just the idea of making my own swimsuit is so cool to me, and also, I love this! I’m so over bikinis, and swimsuits are EXPENSIVE, and this cost me, like, I don’t know, 25 dollars? Including the pattern? And also, it’s the style I like, and I didn’t have to be subjected to terrible dressing room lighting and a panic attack when trying it on. That alone is worth it.

More modeling. I totally wore lipstick for these photos, obviously, adding to the glamor of it all.

But the most important thing is, did it fall off my body and disintegrate as soon as I hit the water?

NOPE. NOT AT ALL. How cool is that?

So, to recap, these are a bunch of photos of me in not a lot of clothing which are now on the internet with a long explanation, including information about my bustline.

Yep. Really happy I’m in the arts right now. REALLY. HAPPY. But, real talk, more people have seen me on the beach over the years then will ever read this blog, so I suppose it’s all the same, and my lovely photographer made me look the best I could possibly look, so really, if this is the record, I think it’s not half bad! And I’m just happy to be one of many people who has made this suit, because I think it’s impressive, even if no one else does, and whatever, man, I MADE A SWIMSUIT! Deal with it, internets. Deal with it.